How to make $$$ with you computer

it’s guaranteed $$$

1. IF YOU’RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT – USE THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER – EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES – NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

1. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this conversation.”
2. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
3. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say, “Okay, that’ll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window.”
4. When they say, “What would you like?” say, “Huh? Oh, you mean now.”
5. Dance all around the word “pizza.” Avoid saying it at all costs. If (s)he says it, say, “Please don’t mention that word.”
6. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
7. When they say, “Will that be all?” snicker and say, “We’ll find out, won’t we?”
8. When you’re given the price, say, “Ooh, that sounds complicated. I hate math.”
9. Put them on hold.
10. Start the conversation by reciting today’s date and saying, “This may be my last entry.”
11. When they repeat your order, say, “Again, with a little more ‘oomph’ this time.”
12. Start the conversation with “My Call to Pizza Place, Take 1, and… action!”
13. Order two toppings, then say, “No, they’ll start fighting.”
14. Change your accent every three seconds.
15. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your best pouty voice, “Last guy let me do it.”

I personally liked the 1st one..

via: purpleslinky

no doubt.. from now on anyone who disagree that “dis” site is “kewl” will deal with this cat..

Authorities say six people at Fort Mill High School’s graduation were charged Saturday and a seventh at the graduation for York Comprehensive High School was charged Friday with disorderly conduct.

Police say those arrested yelled after students’ names were called while diplomas were handed out.

so cheering isn’t allowed in US graduations?.. that’s boring XD

Read More: KomoNews

That’s what this site is for. I’ll post anything funny,cool,weird, and odd stuff I found on the internet