How can you look up words in a dictionary if you can’t spell them?

-If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know?

If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren’t two houses hice? [and two spouses spice]

If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

If you’ve read a book, you can reread it. But wouldn’t this also mean that you would have to “member” somebody in order to remember them?

Is it a coincidence that the only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable?

Why can’t you make another word using all the letters in “anagram”?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

Why do people use the word “irregardless”?

Why do some people type “cool” as “kewl?”

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why do we say something’s out of order when its broken but we never say it’s in of order when it works?

Why does “cleave” mean both split apart and stick together?

Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

Why does the Chinese ideogram for trouble symbolize two women living under one roof?

Why does X stand for a kiss and O stand for a hug?

Why doesn’t “onomatopoeia” sound like what it is?

Why don’t we say “why” instead of “how come”?

Why is “crazy man” an insult, while to insert a comma and say “Crazy, man!” is a compliment?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

Why is it that no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple?

Why is it that the word “gullible” isn’t in the dictionary?

Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?

Why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Why isn’t “palindrome” spelled the same way backwards?

Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

“Hello Kitty” began as part of a covert propaganda campaign originally proposed by Prime Minister Tojo during World War II.

You *can* get blood from a stone, but only if contains at least 17 percent bauxite.

Until 1978, Camel cigarettes contained minute particles of real camels.

If
you part your hair on the right side, you were born to be carnivorous.
If you part it on the left, your physical and psychological make-up is
that of a vegetarian.

The world’s smartest pig, owned by a mathematics teacher in Madison, WI, memorized the multiplication tables up to 12.

None of them is real..

more on topfive

1. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this conversation.”
2. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
3. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say, “Okay, that’ll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window.”
4. When they say, “What would you like?” say, “Huh? Oh, you mean now.”
5. Dance all around the word “pizza.” Avoid saying it at all costs. If (s)he says it, say, “Please don’t mention that word.”
6. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
7. When they say, “Will that be all?” snicker and say, “We’ll find out, won’t we?”
8. When you’re given the price, say, “Ooh, that sounds complicated. I hate math.”
9. Put them on hold.
10. Start the conversation by reciting today’s date and saying, “This may be my last entry.”
11. When they repeat your order, say, “Again, with a little more ‘oomph’ this time.”
12. Start the conversation with “My Call to Pizza Place, Take 1, and… action!”
13. Order two toppings, then say, “No, they’ll start fighting.”
14. Change your accent every three seconds.
15. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your best pouty voice, “Last guy let me do it.”

I personally liked the 1st one..

via: purpleslinky